Jellicles Know What Lies Beneath
by Blazenaire Alda
Summary: This is my collection of songfics from the musician Tarja Turunen and Nightwish involving the Jellicles. The songfics will be in a range of genres from romance to comedy. Part of the title is taken from Tarja's album 'What Lies Beneath'.
1. Wish I Had An Angel

A/N: I've started writing a collection of songfics relating to the Jellicles. They revolve around songs from the Finnish soprano Tarja Turunen. This particular one is based of _'Wish I Had An Angel' _which she sung with Nightwish before leaving the band.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cats, that's for T.S Elliot and ALW to tell you.

'Wish I Had An Angel' is written by Tuomas Holopainen and performed by Nightwish.

When she was younger, she had everything that any kitten could want. The grace of an Everlasting Kitten, friends that would do anything she asked and fur as white and pure as the snows of winter. She prided herself on these qualities, no one was ever going to be as perfect as her. Her attitude remained the same even up to the day of her becoming a full-grown queen. Once a Jellicle kitten has attended their first Jellicle Ball, they were considered to be grown up.

Victoria had spent many days and nights practising her angelic twirls, they were already quite good but not to her. They had to be perfect. She had to be perfect. No other kitten had taken nowhere as much time as she had for practising. Everyone knew whom he or she were going to dance with. Etcetera intended that Pouncival was her one tom and Electra often made googly-eyes at Plato. Jemima and Tumblebrutus had been caught kissing behind a tyre once by Jenny, resulting in a month's clean-up duty and a pair of eyes watching the two kits. Victoria only wanted someone who could come close to her level of 'perfection', she only wanted Mistoffelees.

She thought, no… she knew that they would dance together in perfect harmony and it would be the first time that she had taken a step outside of her innocent heart. She had never even touched one of the toms' paws. Let alone lips. Who knew that the one night would change the course of her life forever.

"It wasn't supposed to turn out this way!"

She stole away into the night quietly as everyone was watching The Glamour Cat rise to the Heaviside Layer. Sure it would've been ok to watch, but the public humiliation was much more dramatic. Just as she finished her dance, which she had spent weeks perfecting, he didn't come out to twirl with her. It wasn't her 'almost perfect' Mistoffelees. It was Plato.

"Doesn't he know the meaning of the word no?"

She had rejected Plato in front of all the kittens, she didn't care that he was the only one that had asked her to dance with him and she didn't care that the tears started trickling down his furred face. He wasn't good enough. Plato could hardy touch his toes, let alone touch them while doing the splits in mid air. She had always known that he 'loved' her but she thought that finally he had gotten over her when he asked Etcetera to dance with him instead.

She had stopped running, not because of the rocks under her paws or the blood tricking down her legs. It was because of the guilt inside her heart. She sobbed quietly as she recited part of an old poem that she once heard.

"_Old loves they die hard,_

_Old lies they die harder."_

It had been four months ever since he had asked her, her instant reaction had caused her to say no. She thought that he would leave her alone from there but part of her knew that he would still try to woo her anyway. Electra must hate her now, Plato was supposed to be her partner, and he lied to her. In fact, he has always lied to her. Such a careless, ignorant tom that thinks he can whatever he wants. Victoria never liked him all that much to be honest. To her, he was just a lying, rude tom. Nothing more.

If it couldn't get any worse, the sky began to release its downpour. Victoria sighed to herself, "I'm cold, wet and just plain scared."

The night continued to make strange noises that the pure white queen had not heard before. The creaking and crashing around her put her on the edge. When something fell behind her, she ran. Victoria didn't care where to but to what she thought was safety.

Plato sat there alone, flicking his tail. He wondered what had happened that would've scared her away, surely it couldn't be Grizabella. She had been gone for nearly a whole year, soon the next Jellicle Ball was just around the corner. Plato didn't talk to the other young adults as much anymore, or to anyone as a matter of fact. He stayed by himself, his own way of mourning for Victoria. He hadn't sung or danced since that night. He tried to write a song for her but he couldn't get past the first three lines.

"_I wish I had an angel,_

_for one moment of love._

I wish I had your angel…"

He couldn't bring himself to continue it, mere words cannot express the true beauty of an angel. Or so he thought…

She was know a fully-grown queen. Victoria's height had become stable, she wasn't having growth spurts anymore and her voice had now lost the kitten-like innocence that it once held inside it. Her coat was no longer as white as the first snows of winter but stained with the dirt from her roaming. She had travelled countless miles in her time alone. She stumbled across a small town at one point, extremely dirty and quiet.

Hiding in the dark shadows, she knew what she must do. Steal. If you had asked her to a year ago, she would've hissed at you and told you to stop accusing her of crimes but now, she had no other choice. She wasn't all that talented at it to begin with but still she tried, even with a broken ankle and wrist. Limping silently, she managed to take a small sardine from the tin that some thoughtless human had left unguarded. She never understood how they were just so… ignorant and selfish.

As soon as she managed to steal into the shadow behind the house again, she saw a small face. A small ginger kitten looked at her pleadingly, eyes fixed upon the tiny fish which Victoria held.

"Why would I care if you little brat can't find something for yourself?"

She hissed at him scornfully but he still sat there, staring at her paw and the sardine. Suddenly becoming over-protective of her meal, she ran up to the young ginger and slashed his face with her claws. It was her only meal for a week and no one was taking it from her. Recovering from her attack, she walked back to the fish but she fell. She had become frail and weak, nothing like her former self.

"_I'm going down so frail and cruel,_

_drunken disguise changes all the rules."_

All she could do was sing softly to herself, it was dancing that ruined her life and she had sworn never to dance again. She wished that someone would come and save her, anyone at all.

This was the final remark that Tumblebrutus would say about her.

"How dare you call her a pitiful, little perfectionist!"

Plato ran up to him and threw him to the ground, calling out several nasty insults to Tumblebrutus while doing so. Plato's mind had been corrupted by the guilt and shame about him making Victoria leave forever. She was his world, now that she was gone. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Plato. All you wanted was Victoria. She would've been your prize of the night!"

Tumble jumped back up and slashed Plato's left cheek. This caused him to push him back to the ground and he mauled Tumblebrutus' right ear. Jemima had come running through, trying to pull Plato off her mate but struggled in doing so. Electra cried out for help but no one seemed to hear.

"Brutus, you are a hypocrite, wannabe friend! You betrayed me for nothing. You are too stupid to see the pain I went through mourning her and all you can do is laugh at her!"

Alonzo had come sprinting down with Etcetera behind him. Munkustrap had lost his life fighting against Macavity three months ago and the Jellicles were still mourning but Alonzo had a duty to do. To keep peace.

Victoria was still lying in the shadows of the town. Her health had gone into a downward spiral, barely letting her stand up without support. Her life was worthless. A useless, shameful life filled with lies and heartbreak. She should just as well end it now. She stopped believing in angels and hope long ago.

Slowly she managed to limp her way to the front steps of the wooden house, there had to be something to end her misery. She looked around and saw a small bottle, it had a dark liquid inside of it. She bit the top off and slowly lapped up its contents. Soon it had all gone and as she left to return to her hideaway, a paw touched her shoulder. Surely it couldn't be him…

"Victoria?"

He stood there stupidly, trying to figure out if the cat was actually her. Plato could recognise those eyes anywhere and her fur was almost white, just with dirt and dust patches covering it but she still looked beautiful to him.

"Plato. I haven't seen you ever since the Jellicle ball."

Victoria dropped her head down guiltily, he must have given up his life to find her while she had given up hers to get away from him.

"Please just leave me. I am hideous, I have lost everything. My friends, family and I cannot even bear to dance anymore."

He just smiled weakly had took her grey paw into his brown one. He rubbed his head against her paw and arm gently, just like he remember doing almost a year ago.

"May I have this one last dance?"

Victoria just stared at his pleading eyes, she thought that she at least owed it to him. It was only a single dance anyway. Slowly she lifting a foot off the ground and Plato took this gesture as a yes.

The two Jellicles twirled around each other, the surroundings soon disappeared into a vortex of colours.

"_Last dance, first kiss."_  
She whispered softly into Plato's ear a moment after he had lightly pecked her lips. She held a paw gently to his face, feeling the warmth flow back to his cheeks.

"_Your touch, my bliss."_

He replied softly as they danced further into the evening. Nothing could change the way he felt right now, this was the perfect night for him. All until…

Victoria stopped dancing all of a sudden and stared into Plato's eyes. They were filled with an unusual happiness but she did plan to end that. She held a hand on her heart and wept.

"Plato. Do not look for me. I plan to leave forever."

With this statement, she ran the best she could away. Plato started to run after her but he stopped behind the shadows the house. Her body laid there limp and motionless. He picked up her body and carried it away, weeping for his lost love.

While the Jellicles were dancing to the Rum Tum Tugger's song, Plato limped in, holding Victoria's angelic body.


	2. Until My Last Breath

A/N: Here is the second songfic in my collection, revolving around _'Until My Last Breath'_ by Tarja from the album '_What Lies Beneath'._

=^-^= symbolises a change in point of view.

Disclaimer: I'm not a playwright, a properly published author or songwriter.

'Until My Last Breath' is written and performed by Tarja Turunen

"Why don't you ever listen to me?"

The one question that would result in a claw to the cheek. She used to never have to deal with this, this abuse.

It happened every time he decided to return back to the den, if he had decided to. Every night Bombalurina would sit there patiently for her lover to return home. It wasn't the same as when they are young though.

When he came home, he would just walk past her as if she was a mere piece of garbage. She knew better than to ask him if he was feeling okay. She knew better than to rest her paw on his shoulder. Though still the red queen did so.

"Get your aged paws off of me."

He would hiss back. The only words he would say, this was the reason why she did so. To hear his voice.

"What's wrong dear?"

Bombalurina would look up to him with concerning eyes, and then she knew what was to follow.

She tried not to blink so the tears wouldn't fall. She couldn't show any signs of weakness or he would leave again. Apparently she was a weedy, pathetic excuse for a Jellicle. She wiped the trickling blood from her left cheek, as if nothing had happened. She knew it was better if she tried to act strong.

"Tugger, please tell me."

She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain about to come but he did nothing. He just stood there still. The Maine Coon turned around to stare at the red queen.

"Leave. I do not want you here anymore."

Bombalurina was shocked. She had not expected this… this calm but harsh reaction.

"Excuse me? Did you just ask me to leave my own home?"

She had managed to gather up some courage to speak back. She wasn't sure if it was the calm response she had received, the unexpected request to leave or if it just was the fact that she was sick of it all.

"How dare you speak back!"  
The Tugger's eyes were now filled with such scorn that a Pollicle would cover in fear but the queen stood there motionless. Not retreating at all. After the long silence between the two, Bombalurina took a few steps forward and began to whisper

"Cannot cry it loud enough, I'm giving up this ghost.

_How can I still justify,_

_When you deny my voice."_

'How dare she question me! That pathetic queen's tricks were pointless; I don't even know why I stay with her.'

He walked towards the defiant cat, pushing out his main in an attempt to intimidate her. He smirked that cocky smile of his after she stepped back. She was so feeble and old.

_No wonder why I spend the nights with Etcetera._

He started to walk off towards the exit, knowing that she wouldn't dare to stop him now. As he reached the end of the walkway, a paw grazed across his cheek.

"I am not some kind of piece of junk you can kick around, Tugger!"

Bombalurina was now struggling to pull him away from the exit, there was no way she would be humiliated yet again.

"In this nothing I am not allowed  
I just follow alone  
Words as weapons without a sound  
Echoes dying unborn"

"Well, then why don't you stop then? I won't have to hurt you… too much."

The Maine Coon was fighting back, his claws had dug into the queen's arm. Causing blood to stain her smooth, white fur.

"No Tugger, you bastard. I won't deal with your arrogance any more. You don't even notice I am here most the time."

She met the clawa to the arm with a slap and a kick where it really hurts a tom. She watched coldly as the tom dropped to the ground, moaning in pain.

"That's it. I am leaving… don't bother ever talking to me again."

The queen stood there silently for a few minutes before walking out, while muttering a few lyrics to a song. To her song.

"_Until my last breath  
You'll never know  
Until you feel the silence  
When I am gone  
Now it's vanishing  
Everything  
What we might have been  
Only now you praise  
Call my name that you won't see again"_

"I'm so sorry Bombalurina."

The Rum Tum Tugger could barely mutter these words; a false sorrow was in his voice. It was obvious that he didn't mean it, in fact it was just so she wouldn't leave. Hopefully.

At the mention of her name, instinctively she turned to him. As one does when their name is spoken.

"No Tugger. You aren't."

"You've tainted my mind with these haunting memories and there is no way I could ever forgive _that_."

Her words were dripping with the hatred of her former mate.

"At least let me hear you sing one last time."

He had managed to recover from the attack and he was standing still, to prevent a further attack. He knew if she sung, he could woo her once more. Just like he did years ago.

Bombalurina hesitated, why should she? What was he planning?

Muttering quietly to herself, she thought of what she could possibly sing that wouldn't make him think that she had forgiven him?

After a few minutes consideration, the red queen looked up from the ground, facing towards the Tugger and began to sing.

"Who can change this memory?  
Inside it needs to burn  
Worship by the enemy  
The guilty take their turns"

He smiled to himself internally, his plan had worked. Now all he had to do was sing along with Bombalurina. She walked up to him and continued her song.

"Watching as it's disappearing  
Shadows all that remain  
Wishes slowly crossing over  
In this parade of pain"

With the last sentence, she hacked her claws into his cheek again. Causing unwanted tears to fall down his face as she turned to walk away.

"Please Bomba, my dear."

The Rum Tum Tugger pleaded, surely she was bluffing. She couldn't be serious, all she wanted was some recognition.

"No Tugger."

She sighed as the heavy chains were freed from her heart. She was free now, free to do whatever she wanted without him stopping her. Holding her back.

"You won't see me. Until my last breath."

Surely her words were true. He didn't see her until Alonzo had brought her back from outside the junkyard, barely holding onto life. She had lived her life the best she could, everyone had gasped in horror at the sight of the seriously injured queen. Blood had soaked into Alonzo's coat and the Rum Tum Tugger watched as her breathing became more forced. Etcetera had hung onto his arm, burying her face into his mane.

She had stayed true to her word, but it had come at a price. Her faith had cost her sanity and loneliness. All would remember her as Bombalurina, the queen who broke through the chains surrounding her heart. Alonzo rested her onto the tyre in the junkyard…

Where she breathed her last breath.


End file.
